Tried but Untrue

I strongly believe that if you have found something that worked for you then you should stick with it.  Please don’t look at my experiences as what will happen to you if you try some of these weight loss methods.  My point for talking about what I have tried in the past is that I learned something about myself each time I tried a different diet.  Trying a diet program and failing may be as important as succeeding because you can look at the situation and learn from it.   The fact that I tried Weight Watchers at least on five different occasions and failed doesn’t mean that Weight Watchers is a bad plan.  In fact, almost every time I have run into someone and noticed that they lost weight they have said that they were on Weight Watchers.

What I found for me is that I did not like the idea of waiting in a line to get weighed.  I was embarrassed and felt “punished” that I was in somewhat of the prison line waiting to be analyzed.  Was I being punished and analyzed – certainly not, but that was how I felt.   I also was distracted by the food products along the wall while I was in line.   I would purchase all that I could carry in my arms.  It was as if I felt that I had a license to eat/drink all these products because they were condoned by the authority on weight loss.

When I was in the meeting portion of the Weight Watchers program, I found that I would be obsessed with thinking about what they recommended for eating.  The discussion one day was about a brand of low-fat brownie mix.  They said where you could purchase this product but unfortunately it was at a location that was about 45 minutes from where I lived.   I packed up my two small children and drove to this store just to purchase this brownie mix.   I was so excited about my purchase that I immediately made the brownies and ate the entire batch.  Again, I felt that they were condoned by the weight loss authority and I took it a little too far – just a little.

When listening to diet “experts” I don’t always like to hear what they have to say.  I suppose they could be correct in their analyses, but their words do not help me.  I was watching a program about an extremely obese man who was bedridden due to his size.  The psychologist said that he needs to “feel his anxiety” instead of eating through it.   I disagree.  Who wants to feel their anxiety?  That’s not the desirable choice.  I do not think there are only two choices – eat vs. “feel” the anxiety.  Instead, feel the positives, feel good!  There is good there to enjoy.  How can anyone be successful if they are asked to feel uncomfortable and just plain bad vs. good.  I understand the point is that the man is eating to avoid the pain of anxiety.  But the man can deal with it another time – not when he is going to eat. Couldn’t there be a third choice to focus on something positive and solutions.

I also shun at the terms “lifestyle change” and “behavioral change”.  I believe that sounds so radical, so sad.  I like who I am, the core of my existence, the essence of who I am.  These terms make me feel like I have to say goodbye to that.  Is that what it means?  Certainly not but that’s what that kind of thinking – my kind of thinking prevented me from succeeding.  It’s about positive, empowering, power control, lifting yourself up being more then you can be.

Next week I will list the fourteen (at least) different diets that I tried without success.

The Lunch Lady

I remember being in sixth-grade in the cafeteria.   It was the usual boisterous lunch time with kids trying to get to their spots and excited to have the break.  I was standing next to the table getting ready to sit and the “lunch lady” apparently thought I was taking to long and yelled “sit down… if you can fit”!   I didn’t think too much of it myself but there was a gasp among my friends at the table and all eyes looking at me.   I felt a little weak and broken but as if a bubble was around me to shield the people looking at me and feeling the hurt.

When lunch was over, we lined up in the hall.  My two very skinny friends came over to me to express their shock and to let me know “don’t worry Diana the toothpicks are on your side”.  It made me laugh then burst into tears.   Well that brought even more unwanted attention.  I was pulled out of line to the principal’s office.   My teacher at the time (still my all-time favorite) was Miss Ann Dryden.  She met me in the office, put her hands on my face and said, “you are beautiful both on the inside and the outside”.  I adored her and respected her.  Anything Miss Dryden said was true, and if Miss Dryden said I was beautiful it must be true!

Miss Dryden – you are my hero!